One of my favorite songs from
Celldweller’s self-titled album always stump a lot of friends when I would ask “Do
you know what he’s talking about?”, which is really just asking the interpretation
of it. Now, so people can take a closer look blog-wise at this pretty explosive
Electronic Rock song, I’ll delve into it an informative way…
Even if you want, you can’t touch me now
Leave me if you want, you can’t hurt me now
Having a relationship is the primary subject
here, with the statements of “you can’t touch me” and “you can’t hurt me”, most
would probably think that the “touch” as physical, in a desirable manner or
even a physically abusive manner. I think it actually goes along with the “hurt”
line; just like in the “leaving” hurt can happen, as she, the person who the
singer (Klayton) is talking about leaving him, could indirectly (or even directly,
intentionally) hurt him emotionally, so
the “touch” is in an intangible sense – emotionally
touch.
Build them up…
(High and strong, so you’ll never to hurt to long)
Put them up
(‘Til they surround’ and there’s no more real you
left to be found)
Hold it up
(High above, no fear of hope or trust or love)
Close it up
(And hold your ground, and wait until it’s time to
finally close it down)
Initially, the only thing sure-fire is knowing
he’s building something to block out emotions and himself (“no more real you”)
from others. Going outside of directness, and coming at it metaphorically gives
clarity: first the background sub-vocals
is the “conscience” or “voice in his head” he’s made to give himself secondary
guidance that he can’t manage on his own. Then, coming from the first lyrics,
and the idea of being afraid, this no doubt is the mental representation of
building a “shelter” or even just walls in his mind to protect from the fear of the ending
relationship (a very essential one at that, given this is the requirement in
the aftermath).
It all matches the “you’ll never hurt
too long” and “no fear of hope or trust or love” as none of these emotional
elements can affect you if you’ve mentally built walls, or isolated yourself in
psychological barriers so nothing and no one can get in. “Close it up” makes
sense to finish this off, but the background sub-verse including “wait until it’s
time to finally close it down” is what’s off-putting on the first listen,
mainly with “close it up” and “Close it down” conflicting – especially after
all that time to “build it up” in the first place.
The only other expansion from that is the
sub-verse/voice in his head is telling him to wait on the time to end his mind
or end himself completely eventually,
and to “hold his ground” until then. It’s grim stuff, but it matches the type
of hurt and/or numbness spoken in these lyrics that are trying to deflect by
building up those walls.
This
isn’t easy to admit… I don’t think I’m believing it... I’m afraid this time...
Here at the end, even though “he’s not
believing it” he knows he’s afraid of being alone, this time. That “this time” is key to him being hurt before, and
doesn’t know how to deal with another woman leaving him again.
It’s really something else to be able have
this effect on such a catchy danceable E-Rock song; well-made music can do that
though…
